I’m officially in my last year of my twenties and cannot believe it! I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be this close to entering my thirties. It feels like yesterday I was dying to turn 21 and be able to legally drink. At least I’m still always ID’d.
Anyways, I’ve had a crazy, amazing 29 year run so far with a TON of ups and also a ton of downs. Like, who doesn’t? Life hasn’t always felt easy and the anxiety and depression I’ve struggled with on and off all my life certainly haven’t been “fun.” But I’ve finally started figuring out how to live through those downs and difficult emotions, while remembering they’re only temporary. I’ve done a lot of internal work, (and still am) and it feels good to finally have a few, new positive beliefs. I’d love to share with you what I’ve come to know is true, even though I’m still working on really believing them all myself. Hopefully these can bring you some positive thoughts too.
- It’s a good idea to splurge on yourself once in while. Whether it’s that $70 manicure you’ve been wanting or the $12 cheese you love. Show yourself how much you value yourself by spending a little extra on that thing you would buy for someone else, but normally not for yourself.
- After saying #1, it’s also good to not get in the habit of splurging on yourself all the time. It’s easy to get in the mindset that an extra few dollars here and there don’t matter, but they do add up. Be careful how often you decide to splurge and save it for special moments.
- Holding people to certain expectations can only lead to disappointment. Let others be perfectly who they are without your judgements on that. They’re going to do what they’re going to do and there’s no use in letting that upset you. When you let go of these expectations, it will lead to a much happier life, filled with surprises rather than let downs.
- When you stop trying to change how things are, life becomes a lot easier. I used to try to control other people’s actions (without even realizing it) and trying to make things to be how I thought I wanted them to be. When you let go of trying to have that control or trying to change what you don’t like about someone, you can breathe a little easier. Because who wants to live trying to control something or someone they actually can’t? Don’t waste your energy.
- Make your home your sanctuary. The best feeling is being grounded in your home filled with things you love to be around, look at and sit on. There’s no better feeling than coming home to a place you love to be in. Warning: if it’s too cozy, you may never want to leave.
- Regular closet and home clean outs feel so good. A life without clutter makes your mind feel so free. Once my closet starts feeling too packed or that junk drawer starts overflowing, I know it’s time to get rid of whatever doesn’t serve me. You could try Marie Kondo’s method here (I’ve yet to, but totally should).
- You are lovable and worthy and enough exactly as you are right now. I’m not sure why I’ve walked around my entire life with the belief that there’s something wrong with me, that I won’t be good enough until x, y or z. But the truth is, and I promise you, you are lovable and deserving of love, including your own, right this second.
- Being passive aggressive gets you nowhere fast, but speaking your truth in a non-accusatory way gets you a lot more. I’ve spent too much time being passive aggressive about this or that when something bothers me. But it’s so freeing to actually tell the other person how you feel and what’s bothering you. Surprisingly, they probably do care and want to make it right.
- Smiling at another is the easiest way to make a friend. Ever notice that when you smile more, people want to be around you more? Smiling makes you look warm, open and approachable. Plus, it feels good to make other people feel good with just a smile.. but make sure you actually mean it.
- When something really bothers you about someone, it’s really about something that’s bothering you about yourself. I hate it when someone gets mad easily, but I realize it’s because I do the same. Use these annoyances as a reflection to discover how you can improve upon yourself.
- You’re making up 99% of your problems in your own head. How many times have you made up a story when your boyfriend doesn’t call when he said he would or your friend doesn’t wish you a happy birthday? I bet the story you’ve made up is dramatic and negative and the worst case scenario. Cause that would happen to me A LOT. Catch the stories you’re making up in your head without any evidence and challenge them to try to see them in a new way.
- Piggybacking on 11, ask yourself the question, “did they do that to purposefully hurt me?” Once you realize that whatever someone else did that’s upset you so much, most likely wasn’t done to purposefully hurt you. And then a lot of the weight is removed from the situation. It’s like you can breathe easier when you remember this.
- When you do something against your beliefs or wants, just to please another person, you aren’t honoring or valuing yourself. This makes others value you less too. If a situation or request asks more of you than you feel right, decline. You have every single right to say no and to honor YOURSELF.
- You cannot make a mistake in life when you realize that no matter what you decision you make, it’s something to be learned from. Once you’ve made a decision, you can later evaluate whether you want to do something like that again or maybe next time maybe you want to handle it differently. Either way, you’ve learned something/
- We all have an inner child that’s trying to tell us something. You know that little voice in your head that you don’t always like to listen to? The one that’s upset or grumpy or sad? Well she is someone to listen to because she is you and she’ll be able to help you figure out those old wounds that are still affecting you.
- Feeling anxious or being upset about something not going your way is just a new opportunity to learn how to get through those tough feelings. It’s important to learn how to just sit and be with your “negative” feelings. That brings me to the next one…
- Nothing ever lasts. Feeling terrible or feeling amazing, no matter what, each feeling and each moment will fade into the next. So next time something feels like the end of the world, remember that a new feeling and new opportunity is just waiting to be next.
- Flowers can teach us so much. I love to stop and smell them and admire them and think how they just bloom and just are. No matter whether or not I, or anyone, is paying any attention to them, they still bloom and they still shine. Continue to shine whether or not you’re being given the attention you think you need to shine.
- Putting on your favorite song – better yet dancing and singing along to your favorite song – is a GUARANTEED way to boost your mood. Feeling shitty? It’s actually easy to change your mood with a little music. I know you know this, but next time, actually do it.
- Changing your environment is the quickest way to feel even just a bit better when you’re anxious or upset. Go outside, breathe in fresh air, and it’ll help give you a new perspective and hopefully a new feeling!
- Almost everyone I’ve met suffers from something, usually anxiety or a kind of mental issue. You’re not alone for feeling this way, especially in our society today.
- It’s absolutely ok to change plans and stay in if that’s what your body is telling you to do and calling for. When it’s not ok… your bestie’s birthday or something along those lines. No offense, but people don’t actually care that you didn’t show up to that party. The guilt’s in your head. So honor yourself and what you want to do.
- Filling your calendar with things to do and feeling busy all of the time is a superficial way to feel complete, or a way to distract yourself from being along with yourself. Alone time is so important and having a full calendar doesn’t make you any cooler or better or more valuable.
- You’re probably basing your mood on your outside circumstances, when you should be choosing how you want to feel. When you let someone’s shitty comment or spilling on your shirt or missing your train ruin your day, you’re giving another person and other things a whole lot of power. It feels a lot better to take your power back into your own hands and choose how you want to feel.
- Life always goes on. You’ll find another apartment, another job, another love. Just because something ends doesn’t mean something else won’t begin. Have faith in that. Nothing is ever the end.
- Be careful how much time you spend on social media. If you’re bored – or even with a friend you should be listening to, and find yourself automatically opening up Instagram, that’s a problem. Try deleting the app for a few days and you’ll slowly start to build up new habits and more free time to actually let your mind think and your body be present. Easier said than done, considering I do this so often and still have a social media habit. Though the more I think about it, the less I even want to be on it. I’d rather be living my life in the present, in the real world.
- Getting into a relationship won’t just fix all of your problems or make you feel any less lonely. Our society makes us feel like find a boyfriend or girlfriend will make us suddenly happy, but I can tell you that’s just not true. You just take your issues with you into your relationship and that’s where they’re usually amplified. Fix yourself and learn to be ok with yourself first, instead of looking to someone else to save or complete you.
- Travel is a great remedy for heartbreak. A broken heart can make it seem like life is over and you’ll never be happy again. Travel makes you realize your life is just beginning and there are infinite possibilities for you out there.
- Life shouldn’t be that hard. You weren’t brought here to struggle or be miserable. You were brought here to overcome it and feel joy in just being alive, able to witness this earth. Learn to shift your mindset, go with the flow and let life happen for you. Because it wants to.
Oh man, I still have so many more things I wanted to add, but I’m going to stop at 29. And for all I know, these could change completely by next year. All I know is, this is where I’m at and hopefully, maybe you can relate too! 🙂